“SOLITUDE IS THE FURNACE OF TRANSFORMATION.” –Henri Nouwen
I remember my first time entering into silence and solitude as a young student leader years ago. I had been running hard for several years without missing a single Sunday, Sunday night, or Wednesday night church service; often teaching 2-3 times per week. This part-time ministry was on top of my regular full-time job. My life and ministry was at an unsustainable pace. I was toast, and I needed time to recharge my neglected soul. I booked a week away from work and found a cabin to host my solitude near the Buffalo River. I had packed a cooler full of food, books, magazines, and hiking shoes. I was ready for a week of pure R & R. Thirty hours later, I had eaten most of my food, gone on three hikes, flipped through all my books and magazines and I was ready to pull my hair out. I was completely lost and did not know what to do with myself, and I found myself driving to the nearest grocery store 25 minutes away just to be around people I did not know. The realization hit me like bug hits a windshield. I began to realize that I had perfected living for God but did not know how to live with God. Solitude since then has been an ongoing practice to find the transformative qualities of stopping, learning to hear His voice, and creating sacred spaces of solitude and silence.
Reading the gospel of Mark we see examples of how solitude and silence was foundational to Jesus’ life and ministry. In Mark 1:12, Jesus goes into the wilderness. In Mark 1:35-39, Jesus rises early the next morning to go to a solitary place and pray. In Mark 6, Jesus calls a few friends together to go to a quiet place and rest. In Mark 9, Jesus takes three of his closest friends to a mountain where they experience the overwhelming presence of God.
Throughout the Bible and church history, the practice of solitude has repeatedly demonstrated its benefit to the spiritual life. Some people stumble in to solitude after a crisis, however intentionally setting aside time to practice solitude and silence creates sustainability for living a life connected with God.
Richard Foster
Solitude is the most central of the disciplines of abstinence. The reason is simple: Solitude makes the spiritual life possible because in it we are freed from the bondage to people and our inner compulsions, and we are freed to love God and know compassion for others.
Henri Nouwen
Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and place for God, and for him alone. If we really believe not only that God exists but also that he is actively present in our lives—healing, teaching, and guiding—we need to set aside a time and space to give him our undivided attention.
There are two common barriers that hinder us from entering into solitude and silence. The first one is that we need a fuller understanding of the discipline. A Scripture that is one of the easiest to quote but the hardest to practice is: Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10) We must not confuse “be still and know” with “go isolate yourself and shut up.” Isolation and only hearing our own voice only spins us in circles. That said, solitude without guidance can be confusing. Solitude is not about learning to be alone; solitude is learning to be alone with God. In the same manner, silence is not just learning to be quiet. The practice of silence is learning to listen to His voice (John 10:27).
A second barrier is the fear of facing ourselves. As a young youth pastor, I had a fear of surrendering the people and ministry while I took a week off and a fear of what God might say to me if I stop talking long enough to listen. I thought, “How would they get along without me? What if they actually like it that I’m gone? What if God thinks I’m doing a terrible job?”
Richard Foster
This is precisely why solitude is such a fundamental discipline of the spiritual life. As long as we are at the center of the action, we feel indispensable… But genuine experiences of solitude undercut all the pretense. In the very act of retreat we resign as CEO of the universe. We entrust people into the hands of God.
Solitude helps us to see a complete picture of who we are with God. Just ourselves— not the people that surround us or the people we surround ourselves with.
To start practicing this rhythm, begin where you are. As you begin practicing solitude and silence, you do not need begin with a 24 or 72-hour retreat. You may just begin with 5-10 minutes, or even sitting still with no noise at a stoplight for two minutes. The point is to practice setting aside time alone and turning the noise down to begin hearing His voice. You will gradually increase your solitude and silence over time with certain daily, weekly, and yearly times of retreat as the practice continues.
Identify a sacred space. Do you have a favorite chair or spot in your home? Some even love sitting in their car with the windows down at their favorite park. There is no need to find a certain spot an hour away in the mountains or by a stream, although that is wonderful at certain times. Simply find a spot that is safe, quiet, and peaceful that you can consistently return to.
End your time with reflection. Allow time to reflect on your solitude. Ruth Haley Barton wrote, “So how are you doing now? Take a few moments to reflect on what happened between you and God during this time.” Are there any shifts or changes that have taken place? Is there anything you know more clearly? Is there any guidance or invitation from God?
Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart
Solitude is a place of purification and transformation, a place of great struggle and great encounter… where Christ models us in His own image and frees us from the victimizing compulsions of the world.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone…. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of mindless chatter, and the one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of self-infatuation and despair.
PROCESS:
Here is a Scripture devotional and a key quote or two to help you consider the spiritual rhythm of silence and solitude this week individually and with others.
Read Matthew 11:25-28.
– In what areas of life do you feel especially hurried and tired?
– When was the last time you remember experiencing peace and quiet with God that refreshed you in strength and perspective? Describe it.
– What kind of places help you settle down and experience quiet refreshment?
– What would it look like to visit and revisit a place like that in the rhythm of your everyday life for peace and quiet? Be realistic.
– After some quiet, write and say a prayer surrendering your burdens and relying on the strength and perspective of God.
PRACTICE:
Here is a daily Scripture reading plan with some practical suggestions to help you get started in your next step of growth in spiritual rhythms. Consider this Scripture reading plan and suggestions this week.
– Matthew 11:25-28 – Let God help you exchange hurry for true rest.
– Mark 1:35-39 – Use solitude to notice your load of care and need of it.
– Psalm 46 – Schedule short breaks to breathe and be aware of God.
– Psalm 131 – Use moments of silence to fuel humility and hope.
– Mark 9:2-8 – Schedule a personal retreat for quiet listening to Jesus.
RESOURCES:
Introductory: Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton, Whisper by Mark Batterson
Intermediate: The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen, The Listening Life by Adam McHugh
Advanced: Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer